Gatehouse Graduate Triumphs!
Anthony's Story
I chose a way out of addiction in October of 2004. I was 23 years old and could not believe what my life had become.
Anthony
I had pushed anyone who loved me as far away as possible. I was unemployed and spent my days in a dingy apartment depressed and alone.
My childhood was met with a devastating loss at an early age; my father was killed when I was eight years old.
I was angry and did not understand why it happened. I was the oldest of three children and tried be the “man of the house”
I bottled my emotion knowing that if I cried my mother would cry. This led to a growing anger and strong fear that I wouldn’t be ok.
My first drunk was at a Christmas party when I was 17. I had avoided alcohol and drugs in fear of being like relatives I knew who were alcoholics. I put that fear aside and drank in order to “fit in”. Instantaneously I felt the anger and fear disappear. I felt at complete peace and ease with what I was doing and who I was doing it with. Alcohol became my solution.
I became known as the party guy, I drank wherever and whenever I could. In high school I had to limit my drinking to weekends but drank to excess when I could and often blacked out. I loved my new identity and felt like I was on top of the world.
Soon I went away to college, where academics and making friends took a backseat to drinking. Being on my own and out of my mother’s house meant that I could drink every night. By the time I came home for Christmas break I knew I had a problem. I was 19.I quit drinking for a month but was soon off to the races again. Soon I was heavily using marijuana along with my drinking. I rarely went to class and I had very few friends. I soon dropped out of college.
I hit bottom in San Diego, where I had been living for two years after dropping out of college. I had attempted a career in automotive sales but failed at that too. I had incurred legal trouble, crashing my sisters car and getting a DUI. Drinking and driving was a regular habit. I was using cocaine on a daily basis and was attempting to become a small time drug dealer. I had pushed my family and good friends away, spent most of my time in a dark room and hated myself. I often thought of jumping off a high ledge. I surrendered to the fact that I was going to die, run out of money, or end up in jail. I was content to keep going on hopelessly until one of those things finally happened.
It was at my intervention when I looked my family in the eyes and told them I didn’t love them that I realized what my life had become. There I was, willing to break the hearts of everyone I love and who love me, just so I could leave and get high. It was at that point that I agreed to attend Gatehouse Academy.
It wasn’t easy to get sober, but given the alternative I had just enough willingness to start making changes. I didn’t like admitting that I had a disease and couldn’t get better on my own, but as soon as I did the miracle started to happen. I began to trust others, feel feelings again, and be able to love and be loved. I developed integrity and responsibility, things I had lost in my using.
I commenced Gatehouse Academy, and stayed on as an intern. I soon found my passion of working with others. As I progressed I had the opportunity to work in the residential department for two years. Along the way I directed our extended campus program in NY, and the Gatehouse College Campus. Today I have the honor of working in the Admissions department of Gatehouse Academy where I see many new residents starting on their path to recovery, right where I started mine. It’s a privilege sharing my experience and hope with young adults in recovery.
I enjoy life today, by staying active in my recovery community, by being a good friend, son, and brother and helping others. I have made friends in recovery, spanning across the nation. I am a welcomed member of my family and actively pursuing my educational goals. Gatehouse gave me sobriety, and sobriety has given me my life back. For that I will be eternally grateful.
